The Comeback Kid

Ahh, the whole reason I decided to start this blog… my back injury.

Everything started a year ago when I hurt my back trying to channel my inner bodybuilder and fold a lift gate up on a box truck. Unfortunately for me, my inner body builder was a little too inner… and in fact, non existent. I could instantly feel heat scream its way up my back just to settle into a pool of flames where my tailbone began.

And I thought to myself, pshh I have never worked out, the burn is good. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t. And the more I tried to act like it was, the more my ability to move became limited.

I had three herniated discs.

The doctors tried everything under the ‘conservative method’ sun for me, but while they were playing trial and error, I was immovable watching life move on.

By the time January rolled around I had almost completely lost feeling in my leg and was pulled into surgery. I was told that my injury was severe and they had to carve out portions of my disc and my bone. Then as soon as my restrictions were lifted in April, I re-injured the same disc I had surgery on.

Pause! I know what you’re thinking, it’s impressive… and I don’t want to brag or anything, but I only had a 10% chance of re-injury… so check me out.

That leads us to where I currently am. Sitting yet again in medical limbo, but this time refusing to continue to rot inside.

I already lost so much time laying down, scared to move, unable to move. I lost my sense of self along the way. I even ended a relationship because I didn’t know who I was anymore.

My confidence sat at the bottom of the ocean and I had watched its descent.

Something needed to change, and maybe everything did.

I have gotten back into hobbies that I previously neglected, while also finding new outlets. I have also been forcing myself out of my anxiety bubble. Which in all honesty, sometimes I do a great job and sometimes I get so anxious my breath fails and I leave early. And both of these outcomes are okay, because no matter what I’m trying.

Trying.

The only word that matters in my vocabulary right now.

Trying new things. Trying old things. Trying to be the best version of myself.